Blogueando para mis adentros

So, long story short, I’ve been seriously considering moving back to Latin America for a spell. Believe it or not, this is a wholly new idea for me: it never even occurred to me over the last year, which–of course–says something. And then one day I just woke up with the strong, deep, compelling desire to do so. I wish I could pinpoint exactly what planted the idea in my mind, but I don’t remember. Something in the last few weeks. In fact, a lot’s been going on the last few weeks, new winds blowing through and old ones finally leaving. At this point, I really just need to decide if this is a wise or addle-headed decision and then get on with it already–either take off or take another direction in my life here. I can’t live with the ambivalence–I must make a decision! And I must stop caring about what other people think and learn to trust myself.

Depending on whether another opportunity works out for me, I could go around October, or it could be as soon as May.

In related news, I’ve decided that the perfect life for me would be to work as a teacher and travel every summer. So, the ideal partner would be either another teacher or someone who can work remotely. This setup is so perfect for me that I can’t understand why it never dawned on me earlier or why I resisted it. Of course, I will keep on translating and interpreting as well. And lots of dancing, cooking, and reading. And I will study more languages. Yes, this would be a life of bliss and meaning for me. Still, there are many questions. High school or college? City or countryside? Live in the U.S. and spend three months every year abroad or live abroad and spend three months every year in the U.S., periodically switching things around? Cats or dogs? But I don’t fret; everything will be made clear with time.

What does a life well lived look like to you?

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16 responses to “Blogueando para mis adentros

  1. What country are you thinking about?

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  2. Qué bien! Qué emocionante. Nunca es fácil tomar estas decisiones, pero te entiendo, un día simplemente sabes que no te puedes quedar ahí como decía mi mamá “pensando en los huevos del gallo”. Yo ya llevo viviendo acá casi 2 años y para atrás ni para tomar impulso. Mucha suerte.

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    • Muchas gracias, Manu. Me fascinan tus experiencias (bueno, tú me fascinas)–ojalá siguieras blogueando para tus afueras.

      Y no creo en la suerte, pues cada uno hace y determina su propia suerte. ¿Qué tal mucha valentía, mucho esfuerzo, mucho juicio, mucho amor? :)

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      • Jajaja gracias :) a mi me encanta oír de tus aventuras también. Quizás uno de estos días escriba esos posts que nunca termine de escribir.

        Bueno sí tienes razón. Échale ganas entonces y mucha cariño de mi parte. Espero que algún día sí nos podamos conocer.

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  3. whatwhileweslept

    Life well lived…doing things that I love to do, and continually being surprised by people. Those are a few things I never want to lose. Also, for what it’s worth, I think you would make a great teacher. (But you already know that!)

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    • Doing things that you love–such as?

      Of course, the most important thing in life (for me) is relationships. (And self-respect) (And service, community) But I didn’t want to write any platitudes here, and these things should just be a given. So, on a practical level, how would your perfect life be organized?

      Thanks so much for believing in me. Experience would not seem to indicate that I’d be a great teacher, but I am a different person now and the proof WILL be in the pudding!

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  4. Jack Butterworth

    Guau! I’m missing my country after 10 months away from it, but I know I’ll miss my job particularly and Colombia generally when I go (5 and a half weeks! :( ) Very best wishes, wherever you end up!

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  5. Oh man I know what you are currently feeling. I can so much relate.
    I am 42, and since I was like 15, I wished I would travel and live abroad. Unfortunately, when I finished my studies, I did not really create the opportunities to make my dream come through. At that time, I did believe somewhat in good fortune or luck. And then time passed, and different events prevented me from thinking about living and working abroad. Nowadays I strongly believe that there is no good fortune: If you want to lead your own life, you have to make decisions, define targets, and work hard on reaching these targets. This is exactly what I am doing right now, and I am working hard on trying to move to South America (preferably Colombia). I am at an age when I cannot just take my backpack and leave. So things have to be a bit more prepared, like securing the financial aspects, for instance.
    I understand that you still have to make some choices (ie. living in the USA and travelling to AmSur, or the other way round). remember that even if you’ll be going to Colombia (or wherever) 2 or 3 months every year, you’ll still be a tourist. It could be frustrating. Anyway, life is never linear. You can still start working in the US and travel to America del Sur, and a few years later, move to wherever in Latin America and do the other way round. With some teaching experience in the US, you’ll have the necessary references that will help you getting a good job locally.
    To make it short: You are lucky to have understood that you are the one who is building your own life. But don’t forget that things are not linear. You have the right to change your mind one day. So don’t hesitate too much on what would be the best move, because you’ll still be able to change things if it appears it does not suit you. Fearing for failure is the best way to fail.

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    • Thank you so much, Stephane. It’s really helpful and encouraging to hear your perspectives. You are right– we all have the right (and even responsibility [to ourselves and our own happiness]) to change our minds, to admit and accept failure/disappointment, and to start over or go back. And a life spent stuck in hesitation and self-doubt is a life wasted. These are valuable years to invest and enjoy, and life is short. I hope that you too will end up very happy and fulfilled. Definitely keep in touch and let me know how it all ends up for you.

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  6. A life worth lived looks marvelous as you leave it behind, and maybe it glows even brighter as you dream of the next place, or dream about how it was all of it a big great…

    I’m sorry, I can’t tell you how it looks like.

    It’s kind of a big deal.
    Not a cheap answer, I promise.
    I rather..

    I believe we all rather ___________ .

    Yeah, that’s about that.
    Trust you. Maybe “us” humans. Or monkeys. Or Manta Rays.

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  7. I meant “worth living” and “well lived” at the same time. :)

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  8. Too me a life well lived looks like doing almost everything on my bucket list.

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  9. Pingback: Spanish in the grass | Vocabat

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