Well, it’s that time again. As I fiddle behind the scenes (isn’t the Spanish for this phrase, tras bambalinas, beautiful?) with various posts, fawning and fussing over them while I wait for them to be ready to launch, I’ve garnered plenty of new material to at least make you laugh if I can’t make you more fluent in Spanish. Yes, it’s round two of the best Google searches from last month plus my responses. These posts practically write themselves. Sorry to have been so paltry on output lately– I’m going to use my (still!) sick pass to get out of this one. Enjoy and let me know your favorites.
unique red orange honey based cough syrup with honey bee mark, spain – OMG! You found it! I left it there on my last trip under a seat on the metro. Did you read the message inside? Are we compatible? Can you meet my needs? All of them?
holidays that we celebrate in america that come from colombia – Oh, this little naif needed a big hug after this investigation, I can tell.
do you want to touch me si toca toca toca – It is strange when you see people just asking Google questions about their personal lives, as if it were some kind of all-knowing oracle, but it no longer fazes me. This person took it one step further, though—they answered. In a different language. An answer that selfishly misconstrues the original question. Unless, of course, they’re answering, “Yes, I must, I must, I must!” Or . . . wait a minute. Perhaps “Toca toca toca” is the asker again, giving the green light. Weird. And hilarious. Oh, can’t these lovebirds get a room somewhere far from my language blog?
meaning of “quite the charmer” – Ahem, still petitioning for my addition to the dictionary. I just picked up blogging to make the time go by faster.
formal expression to say where is the money – From whence shall emanate the lucre? Whither went the specie?
como usa run consolador – Despite appearances, this site is not run as a hotline for these kinds of things.
i want to read cien anos de soledad en espanol now please – Nor is it a literary drive-thru window. And, no, you can’t have extra ketchup packets, don’t even ask.
bat you’d like to make yourself a dinner out of – Is this person looking for a recommendation for tonight’s potluck? I’m no bat connoisseur, lady, nor would I tell you which wine to pair with us even if I did know.
خفاش يصطاد – Always fun when people find me using non-Roman characters. This person was looking for “bat hunts.” Shiver!
colombia: flowers for the gringo – So . . . pithy. I know it’s terrible, but I can’t help but read this as an epitaph. Oh, just looked into it. Turns out it’s the title of a documentary.
i used to speak spanish and now im losing the language, how to i get the vocabulary back? – Did my subconscious get on Google while I was sleeping and land on my own site? For shame!
why is being called el chavo del ocho derogatory – I don’t know. Latin Americans, what can you tell us? My impression of him is that he was very whiny and helpless. Also, he wore that hideous hat.
what are things colombians celebrate – There aren’t enough hours in the day to answer this question.
why do colombian always ask to borrow money? – I was only there two years, surely I can’t be expected to understand everything about them.
what are the issues with buying flowers from colombia for valentines day? – Este . . . este . . . I should know this, but I don’t, alas. Here’s an article I read a few months ago that might help: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/people-places/The-Secrets-Behind-Your-Flowers.html
really ugly famous women – Now, we’re all entitled to our own opinions, but I’m certainly not famous, not yet anyway.
colombian phrase con quien es el fantasma – I don’t know. Colombians, what does ¿Con quién es el fantasma? mean? When is it used?
meaning of vocabat latin – If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times: Vocabat doesn’t mean anything. Except in Latin, that is. It’s actually the third person singular imperfect active indicative of vocare, which means call, summon, invoke. Vocabat, thus, means, she used to invoke–? I have no Latin skills, so correct me if I’m wrong. If I’m not, I like the sound of that—she used to invoke. Vocabat. ‘Tis true–I did partake in a little invoking, once, back in the good old days. Don’t get me started, though, or we’ll be here all night.