Category Archives: Body

Thinking about getting a tattoo

Tu cuerpo se constela de signos verdes 
como el cuerpo del árbol de renuevos. 
No te importe tanta pequeña cicatriz luminosa: 
mira al cielo y su verde tatuaje de estrellas. – Octavio Paz

Do you have a tattoo? Would you ever consider getting one? What do you think of tattoos? Yea or nay? I like tattoos in theory (though rarely in actuality), and I wish I were brave enough to get one. A beautiful sleeve or something on my upper arm or shoulder or back. It doesn’t fit well with my personality, though. And I like simplicity–white walls, clear surfaces, silence. I’ll live vicariously through other people’s tattoos, then.

Yesterday I learned how to say to get a tattoo in Spanish: hacerse un tatuaje

Ah! I never knew. I knew tatuaje, of course, as well as tatuar/tatuarse. But I didn’t know hacerse un tatuaje. Who knows, maybe I’ll be seized by some perfect line or image someday when I’m in a Spanish-speaking country. Now I’ll know how to tell someone to direct me to the nearest tattoo parlor stat.

You’d think that maybe you could just say tatú for tattoo, but it doesn’t work that way. Tatuaje sounds to me like tattooage, which sounds like how you’d describe the oeuvre of tattoos on a person’s body. Rest assured, though: tatuaje is tattoo, and tatú is, well, an armadillo. At least in the Southern Cone. I remember learning that word from Horacio Quiroga. One time in Medellín, I was with a group of people when one guy walked off for a while. When he came back, he said he’d gone across the street to eat a gurre sandwich. Gurre, as it turned out, is a rural Colombian word for armadillo. An armadillo sandwich? I can’t tell you how glad I am that I wasn’t offered any. Cachicamo is another Colombian way of saying armadillo.

I’ll admit that I don’t understand the grammar in the construction hacerse un tatuaje. It would sound like you’re giving yourself a tattoo, but I implicitly trust that somehow, in some way, it means just what it’s supposed to mean. It reminds me of hacerse un manicure, which is how you say to get a manicure, something I did many, many times in Colombia. Or, me corté el pelo, which is how you say I got a haircut. I don’t understand how these reflexive actions actually refer to someone else doing it to you, but I don’t understand how anything works in English either. Let’s let sleeping dogs lie.

Want a tattoo in Spanish but lack inspiration? Let’s look at a few.

Lo que sea necesario - Whatever it takes

Whatever it takes

I want nothing more than my madness

I want nothing more than my madness

To be happy one must learn to love what they do

To be happy one must learn to love what they do

You have to do everything in excess

You have to do everything in excess

Freedom's slave

Freedom’s slave

It never rains eternally

It never rains eternally

Too much

Too much

Gabriel García Márquez

Gabriel García Márquez

Feel inspired? Ready to get inked up? Nah, me neither. It’s interesting, though, to see what messages people try to immortalize on their bodies. Our bodies are temporary, anyway–why not make it our canvas? If you absolutely had to get a tattoo in Spanish, what line or word would you choose? To put it differently, if someone paid you a million dollars to get a tattoo of something in Spanish, what would you pick and why? Me, hmm. If just a word, maybe ojalá. A phrase? Mm, surely something from Neruda or Cortázar or García Lorca. Or Silvio Rodríguez. You may have, ahem, noticed that I’m a big fan of these people! What about you? Ever hear anything in Spanish so beautiful or so poignant you’d etch it on your body? Maybe this blog is my tattoo–I’m writing things down here because there isn’t room enough on my body. So many beautiful words, so many words full of meaning. Where are you writing things down?

¿Se te cayó una calza?

In Medellín, I knew this really wonderful woman named Uva. Her full name was Uvaldina, but most people seemed to call her Uva. And, believe me, her name was the least interesting thing about her. That woman was a trip. Very dicharachera, she was full of the most colorful (and frequently off-color) and wild expressions. As her speech was crackling with idioms, sauciness, and playful wit, there was never a dull moment by her side. She would relentlessly create double entendres where none originally existed and make a scandal out of everything. Boisterous, over-the-top, ribald: these are all great words to describe Uva. She was also incredibly warm, loving, and generous. She made me feel like family from the start (and still does), even though I was lucky if I could understand even half of what she said. Actually, I was probably pretty lucky that I was spared many of her groan-worthy comments. Still, Uva was a lot of fun. I know I’ll never meet anyone like her.

I remember once being out with her, and I must have said some big word in Spanish. Who knows what it was– maybe retroalimentación, maybe envergadura, maybe pernoctación. (She surely would have had a heyday with all of those words, especially envergadura.) Whatever the big word was that I struggled to spit out, she then looked at me and said: ¿Se te cayó una calza? Huh? I had to request clarification. It turned out that a calza is a filling. (usually called an empaste) In very informal speech, caérsele una calza a alguien means that you struggled so much to pronounce a big, fancy word that a filling plum fell out. I’ve scurried hither and thither on the interwebs to find you some more examples, and here are my loose, idiomatic translations. I assume this phrase is very Paisa (Medellín and surroundings), and, oh man, I really wish you could hear this question asked in a thick, beautiful Paisa accent. I’d record myself saying it, but my accent just isn’t what it used to be–alas!

Juemadre, se me cayó una calza pronunciando interdisciplinaridad.

Geez, I cracked a tooth trying to wrap my mouth around interdisciplinaridad.

Hola Stavrula: (Casi se me cae una calza tratando de pronunciar tu nombre!)

Hi Stavrula: (One of my fillings almost fell out as I tried to say your name!)

¿Ya pusieron el video de nuestro presidente pronunciando Djokovic? Casi se le cae una calza.

Did they already put up the video of our president pronouncing Djokovic? He almost choked in the attempt.

Si en español podemos decir multitareas y no se nos cae una calza de la dentadura, ¿para qué decir multitasking?

If we can say multitareas in Spanish and keep all of our dental work in place, what would make us decide to say multitasking instead?

Image by Christiann MacAuley at stickycomics.com

Is there a more natural way to say this in English? The only one coming to me right now is to say that something is a mouthful. Anyway, the takeaway is that you have to be careful with those big words in Spanish! If you’re not cautious, you’re liable to lose not only your pride but also a few fillings in the process. Maybe dentists in Medellín send patients with new fillings home with instructions to avoid caramel, avoid hard candies, and to strictly avoid all foreign words (especially of English and Slavic provenance) and words over six syllables. As I don’t have any fillings, though, I have no excuse for being timid about pronouncing the big words. Maybe one day I’ll even be able to effortlessly say programaremos (a tricky word for me) sin que se me trabe la lengua.

Forúnculo forúncola

My word of the day yesterday was forúnculo. It means a boil, in the medical sense. Also biblical, as in the plague of boils. It became my word of the day when a doctor told me that a patient apparently had a boil on her butt. Ooh, a boil! (Pobrecita.) Never had to say that one before. The word furúnculo flew into my mind from God only knows where, and I was glad to finally activate this word that had lain dormant in my passive vocabulary. I always enjoy that sensation of surprise, panic, and ultimately triumph when I have to shuffle through my mental papers like a madwoman to locate a word, especially if it’s a word I’ve never had the pleasure of actually saying before. Alas, the word never did come up; the poor thing was suffering from a hemorrhoid instead. I didn’t get to say furúnculo after all, but I was just as glad that she got it taken care of, I promise.

What a fun word to say; so much more fun than boring old “boil.” I’ve researched the topic some more, and apparently forúnculo is a much more common variant. There are also some less precise ways out there to refer to one.

Prick his boil

The word is fun to say because it’s an esdrújula, because it has that stressed unc syllable (like avuncular in English–such a great word), and because, ahem, it has the word culo in it, which makes it especially fitting if the boil is on your derriere. I made up a squeaky-clean alternative–forúncola–for piano leg-covering Victorian types. 

The word “furuncle” also exists in English. If you’d ever heard that, though, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.

Thinking about forúnculo, I remembered the word funicular. The English word is the same, but I’ve only experienced this word in Spanish, namely in Bogotá to get up to the Monserrate mountain. It’s a cable railway that uses tram-like cars to get up a steep slope. There’s a tongue twister shaping up in my mind; here, say this five times fast:

A Florencio no le funciona el forúnculo en el funicular.

Ahhh, and now you see how a medical interpreter decompresses after a long day at work. What do you do?

Haircuts

`Your hair wants cutting,’ said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.–Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

My hair had wanted cutting for a very long time, and today I finally acceded. I had a few hours in between my morning appointments at work and my afternoon one, and all of a sudden an irresistible flash of urgency came over me. I was either going to get it lopped off once and for all or I’d never get it cut, but I’d had it with my passivity and dawdling. I only realized how out of hand I’d let it get by way of dancing, my main pastime– while it can be sexy to whip my dance partners in the face with my hair while doing turns and spins, it had reached the point where they were getting unpleasantly ensnared in it. Not so sexy.

When my hair was still a manageable length for whipping, 8 months ago

When my hair was still a manageable length for whipping, 8 months ago

The last time I got a haircut was in September 2011 and before that November 2009 in Medellín and Bogotá respectively. I remember both times well. In Bogotá, I was with two friends, Yadira and Alba, and when Yadi saw a peluquería and decided to get her hair cut and colored on a whim, Alba and I had to join in on the fun. I didn’t even bother trying to guide Leonardo, the hairstylist, with my lousy Spanish. I just let the muse strike him. In Medellín, I went one day to a dirt-cheap salon with hot pink signs across from the metro station closest to my apartment. Filled with young girls who were surely fresh out of beauty school (if even that), I did my best to tell Mabel what I wanted. I paid about $2.50, and did I ever get what I paid for. When I got home and used two mirrors to see the back, I saw to my horror that she had done a complete hack job. Doing my best to blindly fix it with a pair of scissors, I then diligently proceeded to wear my hair up for the next few months. 

Hair is symbolic, so what was I doing holding on to that same hair from Colombia almost a year and a half later? This haircut was long overdue. I suppose in seven years all of my cells will be renewed, and then I’ll have reached a new outward symbol of regeneration and growth (and, inherently, loss). By then, the only tangible link I’ll still retain to Colombia will be this Colombian Spanish I couldn’t shake off me if I tried.

To wit: here’s a bit of hair and haircut vocabulary I remember from Colombia. Supremely personal, supremely unhelpful. If you hadn’t noticed, this blog is moving away from being helpful and trying to be more and more an end unto itself.

Motilarse motilarse was the verb I usually heard in Medellín for getting your hair cut. If it’s used in Bogotá, I missed it. Very informal, very Paisa and Caribbean. Or so I thought–I now see that it’s in the DRAE. In fact, I’ve learned that when Spanish settlers arrived in Venezuela and Colombia in the early 1600s, they called the indigenous Barí people of the Catatumbo region Motilones because of their short hair. The name has stuck. Motilar, then, would seem to be an archaic Spanish word that is now used almost exclusively in Colombia. The Colombians are in good company–Cervantes himself used the word motilón in Don QuijoteHas de saber que una viuda . . . se enamoró de un mozo motilón . . . (Motilón here refers to lay people who would wear their hair close-cropped like priests.) Motilar shares an etymological ancestor with mutilate. Ouch.

Motilón

A Motilón/Barí woman

Hacer estragos - I remember Jose (not José), a psychologist at the school I worked at in Bogotá and with whom I once went on a date, saying me hizo estragos when talking about a botched haircut he had just received. It doesn’t specifically have to do with hair per se, but I’ll always think of hair when I hear it. It means to wreak havoc, to ravage, to do a number on.

Trasquilar - Speaking of haircuts gone wrong, I shared above that I got one myself while living in Medellín. It was my own fault, though. I did my best to offset the damage, but my hair was still very crooked. I kept insisting that I’d go somewhere and get it fixed, but I never did, hence the updos that I sported over the next few months. My positive takeaway? I learned the word trasquilar– it means to butcher a haircut, to cut hair badly, to make someone look like they got in a fight with a lawnmower. One friend, Lina, thought my lopsided hair was the height of hilarity, and she could never resist teasing me about my pelo trasquilado every time we met up. It got old fast, but the word stuck. Now that I’m poking around the internet, I’ve stumbled upon the phrase ir por lana y salir/volver trasquilado – to get more than one bargained for, to go for wool and come home shorn (never heard it), to have things backfire on you. You break up with someone to be with someone who seems better and then the new guy turns out to be a dud and you’re single again, worse off than when you started. You move to a new city to take a job that pays more but you never even see those extra earnings because you have to pay more in rent, transport, etc. I love the ovine imagery of the phrase, and I’m committed to using it as much as I can.

Peluquear - Another common way of saying cortar el pelo in Colombia and some other countries. In others, though, it doesn’t even exist. A peluquero is a hairdresser or barber (also barbero). I remember that Alba’s dad was a peluquero. It’s a funny word, if you think about it, because a peluca is a wig. I once bought a purple one off the street in Bogotá. Another word that’s related to peluca and is very common and useful is despelucado/a – with messy hair, with bed head, unkempt, scruffy. There’s also despeinado/a.

Pelucada with Jose

Pelucada with Jose

Ligero - Another one that has no obvious connection to hair. I feel like getting something off my chest, though. So, when I was getting my hair cut in Medellín by Mabel, I naturally tried to speak my very best Spanish but inevitably failed. I remember her asking me at one point ¿Te crece ligero? And I thought, ligero, ligero, ligero. What the dickens did it mean? I could only remember ligero meaning light, as in the opposite of heavy. And then I thought I recognized it from a book of Horacio Quiroga stories I had read. I thought it meant smooth, straight. (I was confusing it with lacio.) As my hair is naturally straight, I said something to the effect of oh yeah, it’s totally straight, I don’t even own a comb or brush, aren’t I lucky? And she looked at me uncomprehendingly like I was from another planet, shrugged, and kept on mutilating my hair. Much to my dismay, I realized my silly error later on. Ligero in this context meant fast, a common way of saying it in Medellín and other places.

Those are the first hairy words that come to mind. A few others are espeluznante, rapar and raponazo, and peliagudo, among others, so I’ll try to write another installment the next time I do something to my hair. I’ve been wanting to dye it burgundy, so maybe then.

Oh, and today while driving home, I was listening to NPR and they were talking about someone suing somebody for damages. A guest commentator said something like, “We don’t know which people they’ll give a haircut and which people they’ll just touch lightly.” My brow furrowed; I don’t think I’d ever heard haircut used that way. To give someone a haircut? Apparently it means cleaning someone out, causing them to lose a great deal of money. I guess there’s getting a haircut, and then there’s getting a haircut, whether your hair wanted cutting or not.

How Cien años de soledad made me a better interpreter

It’s true. Last week I knew something that my coworker didn’t, and it was all because I’ve read Gabriel García Márquez’ classic Cien años de soledad (twice now). It was a real red-letter day.

As a medical interpreter, I float between all the different areas of the hospital and clinics, but I spend a lot of time in the OB/GYN clinic. The main interpreter there is a really sweet and smart girl named Anne. When we can, we like to share with each other new vocabulary we’ve come across. You know, iron sharpening iron and all that. Well, sometime last week or the week before that, we had a few minutes of downtime and she announced that she had a word for me, a word that made her draw a total blank when she had heard a patient say it. Of course, she was hoping to corcharme. I love to learn, and I love to be challenged, so I was psyched. Bring it on, Anne. I’d like to see you try to stump me! (Inside, though, I was quaking in my boots and praying that she’d go easy on me.)

So, Kathryn, do you know what pesarios are? Believe me, she very smugly considered this a rhetorical question. So, dammmn did it feel great to be able to whip out, como si nada, my response.

¡Pero claroooo! ¿Usted por quién me toma, por una ignorante o qué? Pesarios son pessaries . . . pues, cualquiera que haya leído Cien años de soledad lo sabría. ¿O acaso usted cree que viví dos años en Colombia y que no hacía sino pasármela rumbeando, que no me culturicé nada? Aish, tan boba pues.

OK, so it didn’t go down exactly like that. (For one thing, we were speaking in English.) And I wasn’t anywhere near as smooth. (Nor haughty– I just like to be dramatic on the blog to spice things up.) It was a little more like this.

Pesarios? Yeah, did you ever read Cien años de soledad? (She had.) Well, don’t you remember Fernanda, who was super prudish and holier-than-thou and uptight? She would write to los médicos invisibles about some problem she had, and they sent her the pesarios, and she kept them hidden. And, something like she was supposed to put them in her vagina, but she was so prudish and mortified by everything related to her body that she didn’t even do it?

One Hundred Years of Solitude

I didn’t previously know the word pessary in English (often used, as in Fernanda’s case, for a uterine prolapse), but it was easy enough to guess. Regardless, Anne was completely blown away by my literary chops. I didn’t think it was a big deal myself, but she was stunned. And when I stopped to think about it later on, I let myself be just a little impressed as well. I really should learn to be better at leaving modestia aparte when people want to tip their hat at me. If they want to be dazzled, who am I to discourage them?

I thought I just read for fun and pleasure; never did I imagine that the vocabulary would come in handy at work. (How I wish the word pesario had come up in a session and that I had been quick on my feet to interpret, images of Fernanda and Aureliano Segundo and the lot swirling through my head!) Here’s a relevant passage.

En realidad, su hábito pernicioso de no llamar las cosas por su nombre había dado origen a una nueva confusión, pues lo único que encontraron los cirujanos telepáticos fue un descendimiento del útero que podía corregirse con el uso de un pesario. La desilusionada Fernanda trató de obtener una información más precisa, pero los corresponsales ignotos no volvieron a contestar sus cartas. Se sintió tan agobiada por el peso de una palabra desconocida, que decidió amordazar la vergüenza para preguntar qué era un pesario . . .  Entonces se confió a su hijo José Arcadio, y éste le mandó los pesarios desde Roma, con un folletito explicativo que ella echó al excusado después de aprendérselo de memoria, para que nadie fuera a conocer la naturaleza de sus quebrantos.

Thinking about it from a language learner’s perspective, I love how her tendency to not call things by their real name is described as a pernicious habit. And how! It is so very pernicious. You have got to expand your vocabulary and call things by their true names (and not just things, but verbs, actions, ideas). Otherwise, you’re just asking for trouble and a lifetime of mediocre Spanish. Overpowered by shame, Fernanda put her life at risk by holding off on asking what a pesario was; how do you hold yourself back by not asking about and learning the vocabulary you need? El peso de una palabra desconocida . . . It sure is a weight! A burden, a suffering. So unburden yourself already and just learn the words, remember them, and use them. Then life will feel so much lighter and your experiences in Spanish will go swimmingly. Amordazar la vergüenza . . . yes, silence your shame, gag it, muffle it. Don’t let it dictate what you will and won’t be able to do. Ask! Finally, whatever you do, don’t throw your learning materials into the toilet. They don’t even flush toilet paper down the toilet in Colombia, so just imagine the mayhem were you to follow Fernanda’s example.

Would you have known what a pesario was? Do you remember this part of Cien años de soledad? Did you ever have a similar experience where some random word from a book or movie or song somehow came to you just in the nick of time in the most unlikely of circumstances? It’s a great feeling, believe me. For a whole minute there, I got to feel very intellectual and erudite. Life was good.